Just Like You Said It Would Be

Some day somebody's gonna ask you, a question that you should say YES to.

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 00:37:41 GMT

I think that maybe we're all born hating eachother.
And maybe the goal in life is to learn to love eachother.
I'm still a toddler in this progression.

I hate those people that'll tell you...

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 15:29:17 GMT

Everything is a cage.
Everything contains me.
Fuck everything.

"can you believe he actually thinks that I am really alive?"

I'm a master at taking and giving.
Is that why you're leaving?

Carnival Miracle.

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 19:04:48 GMT

It would be so much easier to say that everything works out in the end. But, in the end, you die. So, it never really works out, does it?
It would be easier to make silly little promises that are supposed to mean something, and though we can't, we try.

I'm sorry that I'm a second-hand friend.
I'm sorry that I'm in the process of breaking your heart.
I'm sorry for being in the process of breaking my own.
But, you see, there's nothing really to look forward to if you won't look forward.
And you won't.
So, I can't.

You said I broke your heart.
You've been breaking mine since the day that we met.
& it's nothing that I can help,
I don't know what you want me to say.

You just keep leaving, so when you left today, I pretended that you were leaving forever.
It makes it so much easier when you put a lid on it, and though I keep trying to see the best that I can,
I still manage to cloud all my sarcastic vision with something that I hate: myself.

I don't know which one of us is wrong here, whether either, neither, or both.
All I know is that it's hard to see you, talk to you, love you, knowing that you cannot promise to do the same.

And then a little part of me dies,
but it's not the part that loves you.

WHATEVERRRRRRRR.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 22:02:52 GMT

They say that life isn't fair.
YEAH?
WEll,
I say,
FUCK LIFE!

Something To Say

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 01:34:27 GMT

It's a suggestive action to... take the world in your hands and pretend that you have permission to do so.
I have no idea where I'll end up;
graduating next year in a white cap and gown,
at an overly-expensive college that I can't afford to be at.

I'll wait far a kiss,
just answer this,
where will I be?
Where will you be?

It all appeals to me,
the bright lights of future,
the unidealistic hand gestures I'll have at the end,
the unidealistic status I already have.

I don't care what it all matters,
I'm making a suggestive gesture by taking theworld into my hands and pretending that I have permission to do so.
I have my owm permission,
mother,
father,
sister,
brother,
friend.

I make this world, my loves,
and you cannot,
will not
shall not take any part is taking it,
breaking it,
or making it into something that I have not given you permission to do.
It's a suggestive action to... take the world in your hands and pretend that you have permission to do so.

It'll be a fair journey when I reach the beginning of the end, the peak to a ten story fall.
It'll be a mean, kind, sad, happy journey when reach the end of the end. When I reach the beginning.

This is the first day of the rest of your life.

This is the last day of the first of your life.

This is YOUR day of YOUR life.

It's a suggestive action to... take the world in your hands and pretend that you have permission to do so.

We're all so provacative.

I'm just a bitchy bitch bitch.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 22:02:43 GMT

Kisses, kisses, kisses.

And notes from February.

Let's just keep driving.
&& We're not coming back.

Ciel Scarlett

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 23:12:06 GMT

We both cried with a demeanor of sadness that is only possessed by those who're keen of heart.
Though a shallow cry, it danced along the fingertips of a beautiful splendor.

The inside corner of his eye, a pool to be soaked in by my genuine sincerity.
It all followed the afterglow that, inturn, began with the instructions, "go slow."

And it was all slow, the hands, the tears, the mouths; gently blooming as it's supposed to be.
We cried for a passion that now burns red, but might freeze into ice.

We cried for the doubts of our minds, the size of the world;
it cannot compare to the love I hold for you.

Why are you sad? Why are you crying? {Though I had began long before he.}
"I just feel sad,"
"This world's a big place." I said.

"I hate crying," he said.

This world is a big place meant to swallow us whole, especially in the end.
Though the Earth will ultimately win,
I won't go down without a fight.
"I need you."
I swear it.

WE fight until the death,
when we die together.

I'm bare boned and crazy for you;

Fri, 21 Jul 2006 01:54:15 GMT

"We'll just wait to get the dog until we move in together."
"HUH?"
says my mother.

& I don't mean to push away people in anger.
It's something I can work at.
That's how I feel, baby.

I believe in it.

I REALLY believe in him.

No doubts;
and I believe in the future.

Hey there kid

Tue, 18 Jul 2006 23:44:17 GMT

You're goddamn right.

I could use a little fuel myself.

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 23:48:36 GMT

Lately I feel like such a failure.
The more I fail, the closer I get to being exactly what I don't want to be.

I fail, I fail, I fail. I'm failing.

I can't stop, I can't help it.
the more I run from what I don't want to be, the more I become what I don't want to be.

I can't start the things I've promised to finish, can't finish the things that I've already started.

I've got no motivation, nothing.

I need to focu, but there's so much blur in the way that I can't seem to get past the pretty pretty illusions infront of my face to reach the reality that is ME.

I'm better than what you see now,
I SWEAR I can be.

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 14:56:13 GMT

fuck you.

you know how I like to rub it in your face.

There's moonlit skies in the middle of the night.

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 01:00:20 GMT

I confess I'm not the best at making the best marks or taking all the greatest chances.
I confess that I do what I said I don't, what I said I won't, what you said in front.
I confess that I think that I make the better of the two decisions when it comes down to the pipe that's ripe in the hype that you've caught.
I confess that this isn't really a confession at all because I make it perfectly clear in the long run.

I confess I like what I do and it likes me too.

But, I'll never be as ignorant as you....

"I just wish that everyone could be happy for just one day." -(ev)erything breathtaking.

for happiness,
you gotta let go
run down some stop signs.

I think that this year is the year that I've GOTTEN IT.
I understand who I am.
Where I'm coming from,
and I know that where I'm going is nowhere NEAR where I am now.
But, the journey is proving itself to be ...
slippery,...
and totally worth it.

"I don't mean no harm.. I can see you with my T-shirt on..."
(Currently listening to that song.)

In Ev's chair

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 23:48:18 GMT

no joke:
new pretty much favorite band

Nightmare of You.

:: ode to serotonin::

Suddenly spritely budding through the billows 
The sun is bobbing heavenly against the trees 
With bees buzzing 
They're sucking nectar from a flower 
And if we could have this hour for a lifetime 
We'd smile blinkingly 
Laughing till we're gagging violently 
O soaring dove, I'm quite sure this is love! 

I'm utterly depraved, let's do it on your terrace 
And the rain will catch the notches on our backs 
Exchanging spit through our sloppy kisses 
Where the water tastes like perfumes of the docks 
We're meant symmetrically! 
And hand in hand we're strolling gorgeously 
O soaring dove, I'm quite sure this is love... 

O saoring dove, I'm quite sure that this could be love...

This is side one, flip me over.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 20:24:20 GMT

& That's all so far.

My life is an ironic twist.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 18:29:05 GMT

I'm stranded at Ev's house....again.
How I love my life.
But, he's coming home tomorrow.
& I'm real excited.

SUN-EYED GIRRRRRRRRL.

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 21:03:26 GMT

I still have two months to
S T R E T C H
shrink
love

& make things happen in my summer.
Waiting to see what happens...

& flipping out the whole time...
haha.
{no more black jokes, or slut jokes..... DANI AND JON!}

:)

The stars, they're ours.

Wed, 17 May 2006 00:21:30 GMT

Me?
I can't stop spinning.
"Breathing deeply,
walking backwards."
I've already found the strength.
I'm taking my time, making my time...
with him too.
& It's all real.
I can't count on my hands and feet put together-
the amount of smiles I get just for being HAPPY.
I'm answering my questions
with answers
that are realistic,
but are surreal in my head too.
Me?

I'm real. & I'm ready for it all.

"What you got? Lay it down on me."

Tue, 16 May 2006 00:39:40 GMT

Miami:
The best thing in my entire life.

"OH MIAMI!"

Well, ladies and gents,
have a nice one.

What happens,
stays.

This is EXACTLY the way he wrote it.

Thu, 11 May 2006 21:23:25 GMT

Come here and just be with me
Let's not play, call a spade a spade
Is novelty still novelty if it doesn't fade?

Is novelty still novelty
If it lasts for an eternity?
It's no shame to play the love game
So long as you know how to win

When I'm with you it's all true
Storybook meets reality with firm finality
The dashing prince loves miss congeniality
And it's clear as crystal for all to see

So get over here and kiss me
Really kiss me
Like it's the only kiss that ever was
The only kiss that ever will be

And I'll kiss you like you want me to
The feel of your lips on mine is lovely
Lover-girl, with the flirty curls
It was more than a matter of time

You've got that beauty too
The kind that's seen in gracious few
More than blush and hair and skirts
Make-up that's so bright it hurts

It comes from your smile, your looks, your eyes
It's tangible like the dreamer's sky
It touches me every single time
I'm reminded I'm yours, and you, are mine

Do you feel bad, like I feel bad?

Wed, 10 May 2006 21:32:43 GMT

I AM ENLIGHTENED.

Fuck that. I'm in my living room listening to sex noises from a movie (FIGHT CLUB) and my dad is in the next room. I SHOULD feel uncomfortable, and usually I do.
But, why is sex something to be ashamed of? If anything, it should be the noises you're making, especially when you're a man and it sounds like you're singing soprano in a Disney musical.
I realize that I am vile and vulgar and fuck the general entailment that I'm a LADY. Does that mean that I must wear skirts? Kepp my hands to myself? Hah. Wear makeup to make up for the future that you've made up?

I caught you 'cause you keep touching me and you want to run your fingers over me like a piece of soft velvet. I caught you staring, runnning your eyes over me like you'd wished they were your fingers that I couldn't tell were touching me.
Yeah, I caught you with my eyes closed honey. I felt you, feel me. I felt me too.
Do I feel good?
Do I feel good to you?

I'm not uncomfortable. I am the center of the universe of misfortune with a fantasic spin in the indulgence of saliva and sweat and steam.
Just like the screams that I can hear from Marla Singer in the background. And that's the way we get by, eh folks?

I don't really know what's come over me, but I like it. Being frank and honest and vulgar and particularly careless.
It's refreshing to know that all I need to really do is reach inside of myself to see something else.

If so, I can find so much more shit than I ever knew before.
& I don't give a fuck if it's lady-like.
'CAUSE I LOVE being stronger than you.

Don't forget who's taking you home...

Mon, 08 May 2006 10:48:48 GMT

I'm scared.
I can't help but be scared.
It's easier to fall on your face than to hold yourself up or rely on someone else to hold you up.

& I hate my parents, I don't want to end up anything like that.

BUT...

I do love this kid.

elements.

Sat, 06 May 2006 15:30:29 GMT

I am the sky.

"Poetry doesn't sacrifice meaning for the sake of rhyme."

Fri, 05 May 2006 02:55:47 GMT

AH AH AH!
Ev has decided that he might go to Eckerd College....and that's in St. Pete.
AND THAT'S BASICALLY THE BEST NEWS I'VE EVER HEARD!
It's only an hour away.
He said: "I want to go to college some place that feels like home... I can just see myself lying on the grass on campus and talking to you on the phone the first night I get there."

And he left this quote in EXPLORATIONS {our latest poetry book} that said,
"...And then I met this girl...And for the first time, the first...I was afraid to die..."

It's from an anime movie, most likely, but I don't even care.

♥

Thu, 04 May 2006 21:36:19 GMT

TUESDAY NIGHT:
-Watching the Cowboy Beebop Movie
-Chunky Monkey & Double Fudge Brownie Ben & Jerry's.
-Driving home in a minivan & listening to Disney Princess cd's, Norah Jones and Veggie Tales (The Water Buffalo song)
Oh, and Shania Twain.
Ev's smallest sister, Emily & His mom, Heidi.
& Ev, of course.

FOR DANI.

Tue, 02 May 2006 01:40:33 GMT

It's Julia in Ev's Jamaican gear! {I promised to show you yesterday.}